Mental Health and Me...

I may look happy and healthy in all the beautiful photos on this website, and I am (mostly).
But truthfully, I have been struggling with my mental health all my life.

I have ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder - we used to say Asperger Syndrome, but that definition is now considered controversial. Mr Asperger was not a nice guy, it seems) I am still waiting for my “formal” diagnosis - NHS waiting lists are ridiculous. It was a random article on the Guardian that first switched on a lightbulb in my mind. Lots of and lots reading followed, plus chats with therapists and other Neurospicy peeps.

There is no one-size-fits-all image of ASD, especially in women as recent studies have demonstrated.
For me, it has meant feeling everything to the highest possible degree. Feelings, emotions, sounds, smells, they are all magnified. I have an extraordinary memory which has helped me to be very successful in my job, but it also means I can rarely forget things no matter how hard I try.

ASD also led me to develop anorexia nervosa aged 14, which brought me to the brink of death. All of these factors meant I was relentlessly bullied throughout school, something which scarred me for life.

And yet, this makes me who I am. I feel deeply, I love deeply, I empathise deeply. I’ve had years of struggles, but it has made me the woman I am today.

When I found yoga, during a particularly dark time, it felt like coming home. Practicing yoga has helped me enormously - it has taught me to accept and love myself while continuously working on being and doing better. Whenever anxiety bubbles over, I know that my mat is my safe place.

This is why I chose to train as a yoga teacher: I know the magic healing it can bring to people’s lives.